Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
