i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
