conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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