Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
