so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
