Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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