he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
