And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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