Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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