i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
