Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What a dumb baby whore.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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