You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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