I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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