The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
