Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
