Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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