So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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