"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
