OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
