..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
