I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
