He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
