Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
