I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
