You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
