you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
