she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
