We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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