would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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