im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
