Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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