my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
