Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
