When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
