I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Never underestimate the power of titties
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
