Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
