yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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