i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
