i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
