Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I AM VODKA MAN
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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