i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
