Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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