nutella sex= disaster
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she peed on how many people?
a search helicopter?!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
