she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
