Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize