Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
