do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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