I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we're making bets on your personal life
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I want a musical about memes.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
