Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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