hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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