dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
