1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
