I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
