After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
