Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
