We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
